Posted by: coastcontact | March 13, 2016

Donald Trump is Don Rickles in Disguise

Donald Jay “Don” Rickles (born May 8, 1926) is an American stand-up comedian, voice actor, and actor. Best known as an insult comic.  Donald Trump (Does anyone call him Don?) seems to think Rickles is someone to emulate.  Trump would be a great replacement in Las Vegas for the Rickles insult show.

Do you really want this man to be president of the United States?

Dec 22, 2015 – Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump used crude … He said schlong is a more specific and dirty word than schmuck.

February 8, 2016: At a rally on Monday night in Manchester, New Hampshire, Donald Trump repeated a woman’s shouted remark that Ted Cruz was a “pussy” for his comments about waterboarding during the previous Saturday’s Republican debate.

Following are quotes from Donald Trump.

“Robert Pattinson should not take back Kristen Stewart. She cheated on him like a dog & will do it again – just watch. He can do much better!”

Clearly Donald is a Team Edward kind of guy…

“Ariana Huffington is unattractive, both inside and out. I fully understand why her former husband left her for a man – he made a good decision.”

Trump always has charming things to say about successful, prominent women – but he stooped particularly low with this comment about Huffington Post founder.

“You know, it really doesn’t matter what the media write as long as you’ve got a young, and beautiful, piece of ass.” 

Trump proves (again) that he views a woman’s looks over anything else…

“I will build a great wall – and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me – and I’ll build them very inexpensively. I will build a great, great wall on our southern border, and I will make Mexico pay for that wall. Mark my words.” 

Oh for goodness sake.

“When Mexico sends its people, they’re not sending the best. They’re not sending you, they’re sending people that have lots of problems and they’re bringing those problems with us. They’re bringing drugs. They’re bring crime. They’re rapists… And some, I assume, are good people.” 

Just another casually racial slur, then…

“Our great African-American President hasn’t exactly had a positive impact on the thugs who are so happily and openly destroying Baltimore.” Don’t worry, his racist outbursts aren’t just directed at Mexico.

“If I were running ‘The View’, I’d fire Rosie O’Donnell. I mean, I’d look at her right in that fat, ugly face of hers, I’d say ‘Rosie, you’re fired.’”

Trump has infamously hated on Rosie O’Donnell, making crude, sexist and misogynistic remarks about her on multiple occasions.

“All of the women on The Apprentice flirted with me – consciously or unconsciously. That’s to be expected.” Because of course, no woman can resist Trump’s charms. [Throws up on keyboard]

“One of they key problems today is that politics is such a disgrace. Good people don’t go into government.”

Well at least he’s showing some self awareness.

“The beauty of me is that I’m very rich.”

And not that fabulous barnet of yours?

“It’s freezing and snowing in New York – we need global warming!”

Definitely not missing the point…

“I’ve said if Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her.”

Possibly (/definitely) one of the creepiest things we’ve ever heard…

“My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well documented, are various other parts of my body.” Ew.

“I have never seen a thin person drinking Diet Coke.”

We’re glad he’s so concerned about the obesity crisis.

“I think the only difference between me and the other candidates is that I’m more honest and my women are more beautiful.”

Women aren’t possessions, Donald. They can’t belong to you.

“You’re disgusting.”

To put this into context, Donald Trump said this to the opposing lawyer during a court case when she asked for a medical break to pump breast milk for her three-month-old daughter.

“The point is, you can never be too greedy.”

Campaign slogan = sorted.

“Sorry, there is no STAR on the stage tonight!”

In his Twitter liveblogging of the Democratic debate, Trump seemed to think he was watching a talent show rather than looking for the next POTUS.

“My Twitter has become so powerful that I can actually make my enemies tell the truth.”

We think Donald may be overestimating the power of Twitter.

“My IQ is one of the highest — and you all know it! Please don’t feel so stupid or insecure; it’s not your fault.”

Don’t worry, we won’t.

“I have so many fabulous friends who happen to be gay, but I am a traditionalist.”

What does that even mean?

“The other candidates — they went in, they didn’t know the air conditioning didn’t work. They sweated like dogs…How are they gonna beat ISIS? I don’t think it’s gonna happen.” 

Because sweating = the inability to solve a political crisis. Gotcha.

“Look at those hands, are they small hands? And, [Republican rival Marco Rubio] referred to my hands: ‘If they’re small, something else must be small.’ I guarantee you there’s no problem. I guarantee.”

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